Interrupting frequent speakers elegantly and effectively

The fact that some people like to talk too much and for a long time can be quite annoying (not only on holidays). Having your say is not easy at all.

In my current video tip, I have therefore taken up a participant's question about what to do if people don't let you have your say: “Wie unterbreche ich elegant, wenn jemand einfach nicht aufhören will zu reden?”
See and hear my answer in the video here – three concrete tips included:

How do I have my say with frequent speakers?

Maybe you know this situation, you are part of a discussion group, many loud words and sentences are spoken. Especially those friends or colleagues who are naturally a little louder, more expressive, perhaps even more extroverted, keep their say.

If you are not one of the loud but rather one of the reserved contemporaries, it will be a challenge to contribute something to the entertainment. Forcing yourself into the discussion does not seem like a good solution to you.

Have your say elegantly in three steps

Therefore, read a tried and tested article today rhetorical Tools of the trade on how to have your say without much effort and in a pleasant way - and take the lead from the frequent speakers.

Step 1: Listen briefly to what is being said

… und erfasse den Kern der Aussage oder der Erzählung. Vermeide dabei den “Ja, aber …”-Fehler! Denn oft reizen die Aussagen von Vielrednern zum Widerspruch. Sobald Sie mit einem “Ja, aber, ich habe auch eine Idee!” unterbrechen wollen, provozieren Sie unseren Vielredner nur zu einem noch energetischeren Wortschwall.

Do it differently, listen patiently for a moment.

Step 2: Briefly pick up on what the other person said

Even if it does not correspond to your opinion or view at all, beat the frequent talker with your own weapons. Briefly follow up on what you have heard and nod attentively and repeat what you have just heard.

If you've just heard a long explanation of why something can't work out at all, say:

• “Wenn Du, lieber Kollege Huber, jetzt gerade sagst, dass das so nie im Leben klappen kann …”

If you are listening to a long story about the last Bali vacation, say:

• “Wenn Du auf Bali solche Schwierigkeiten mit dem Essen gehabt hast …”

Step 3: Now ask a question in the room, to which you will answer yourself

Zum Thema “Kann nicht klappen” könnte die Frage lauten:

• “… was haben wir denn im Vorjahr gemacht, um eine Lösung zu finden?”Attention: Do not address the question to the frequent speaker. Ask the question in order to answer it constructively yourself. This means that it is now your turn to speak.

The question about the Bali vacation could be:

• “… wann sperren denn bei uns die Restaurants offiziell wieder auf?”

Here, leaps of thought are not only allowed, but desired. The chance of establishing a new thread of conversation is very high.

Beware, body language!

Wenn Sie das innere Verlangen spüren, jemanden zu unterbrechen, führt Sie das mit großer Sicherheit in eine dem Gesprächspartner zugewandten Körperposition. Diese “konfrontative” Raumposition verstärkt im anderen die Redeenergie.

As soon as you pick up on what someone has said, turn a little sideways.

• Join forces: Turn slightly to the side and position the topic of conversation as the third point in the room using body language. Viewed from above, you form a triangle from two conversation partners and the topic. Behind the topic – which is now considered by both of them – a direction in the room unconsciously emerges in which solutions can later manifest themselves.

Having your say without forcing yourself into a conversation, that was the topic of my practical tip today. I am very much looking forward to your experiences in the comments!

Warm greetings from Salzburg's Old Town, yours sincerely,

Arno Fischbacher

 

 

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Read Also:

• Attention from your audience from the first word
• Spoken advertising – does it ring a bell?

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The author:

Arno Fischbacher is a business voice coach and rhetoric expert, speaker and author. He prepares executives and employees of the top companies in Germany and Austria for negotiations, presentations and media appearances. Fischbacher is the author of several books, past president of the German Speakers Association (GSA) Austria, chairman of the European Network of Voice Experts, stimme.at.

If you would like to learn more about specific training opportunities with Arno Fischbacher, make an appointment here free information talk.

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