Why online meetings fail so often – and how to do it better

It's five minutes to ten in the morning in the home office, the laptop has already warmed up and the first tricky phone calls with a supplier have been made. MS Teams is routinely booted up and the webcam adjusted. Now it's just a matter of quickly removing the sports anorak from the background of the picture and moving the coffee cup out of sight. After all, the head of development will be able to look into the converted guest room: Hello to the technology Monday meeting!

The redeeming click ends the agony sixty-five long minutes later, after an unenlightening round of reports and the tenaciously dragging chief information about the upcoming project. Facilitation.

Our home worker stands up and stretches. Shaking his head, he runs into the kitchen to the coffee machine with the empty cup. And while the scent of the espresso fills the room, we hear him sigh in a low voice: "Why on earth does no one tell him that you just can't listen to his bland talk??"

What makes self-reflection on one's own way of speaking so challenging?

You may know moments like the one described above. And sometimes we catch ourselves thinking things like:

• "Why doesn't he/she notice this himself?" or
• "Why doesn't anyone tell her that?"

Three strong factors prevent self-knowledge and further development:

• Lack of open and competent feedback, especially if you are in a senior position
• Long-practiced behavioral routines prevent questioning. They feel "normal" and are therefore evaluated by the mind as "usual correct"
• For example, if you during your presentation, clearly feel "I Speak way too fast !", the relief will be great after finishing. The previous dissatisfaction is then overlaid by the enthusiasm of "Well done" and you finally stick to your well-known behavior.

What are the special pitfalls of online video calls?

You probably know this scenario: your participants are muted, some have turned off their camera image themselves, so you only see a black rectangle. There is no reaction at all.

Even when presenting with a "real audience", this is a pitfall: If you haven't learned to cunningly show your audience through eloquence and Confident linguistic appearance to elicit visible and audible reactions, has the feeling of speaking to a wall. This stresses, raises blood pressure and accelerates. So-called speech pressure occurs.

As listeners, we experience the following vicious circle:

• Lack of pauses in understanding prevents us from thinking deeply and associating
• Once we have lost the thread while listening, the desire to start again decreases
• The feeling of not being addressed personally tempts you to digress. A perfect opportunity to check emails, read on your mobile phone, etc.

Three typical tiring speech patterns

Someone can only improve when the bottleneck is defined. In the case of the speech of the head of development, the attention killers are quickly arrested.

• Lack of dialogue : Anyone who makes a special effort to string together factual information forgets the listeners' need to participate inwardly.
• Stereotypical way of speaking: Here, the so-called "ducktails" are particularly annoying. This refers to the speech melody drawn up at the end of the sentence, usually followed by a short "uh" and a long-drawn-out "... and ...". This results in
• Garland sets: This is the name given to those seemingly endless sentence sequences that are separated by the combination with the word "... and ..." arise. They clearly signal to us as listeners that the next sentence is about to come anyway and that we therefore do not have to react or think along.

Why the message doesn't get across without conscious design

Even the old Rhetorician agreed on this point: the factually correct argument is only moderately impressive and convinces experts at best. Enthusiasm, on the other hand, is generated by a pointed, concise style that incorporates the listeners' worlds of thought. And only he is able to bring about a change of opinion among those who think differently or who are indifferent.

How the influence of the sound of the voice and tonality set the course between impulsive rejection and emotional readiness is proven today by modern psycholinguistics with great precision. Already a quarter of a second, before the words are understood in the "Siri" of the brain (the language center), the sound in the Limbic brain about the readiness to take in.

Four practical tips for motivating speech in video calls

Don't leave your effect to chance. Even with simple means, you can increase the willingness to listen and thus your effectiveness enormously. Pay particular attention to the four unconscious core statements of your voice:

1. Leadership : Sitting comfortably in front of the laptop camera and talking in your home office is not a good idea, because the voice is the audible part of your body language. Just by deliberately changing your posture (straightening, letting your gestures run free), your voice conveys more sonority and volume. Your pauses in speech create attention . Strong words at the beginning of the sentence arouse curiosity. Serious questions with which you address pain points and concerns of your listeners effectively structure.
2. (Self-)Empathy: Do you keep an eye on the thoughts, motivations and reactions of your audience while speaking? Self-centered, empathetic speech quickly meets with rejection and generates inner resistance.
3. State of mind: Are you annoyed by the Objection of an employee? Her voice betrays every inner emotion. Pay attention to time and result pressure, plan time buffers. Online meetings require particularly tight time management and a clear structure, so pay attention to repeated summaries.
4. Relationship quality: The co-criterion in business communication, because it makes your leadership style transparent and shows your inner attitude to your employees or customers. Your voice reveals in tone whether you perceive your counterpart only as a means to your advantage, or as an individual with needs, feelings and values.

Oneself about the effect of one's own voice becoming aware is the supreme discipline of any rhetorical training. Only your voice competence brings your valuable content to life in the video call through a rousing presentation and inspiring way of speaking.

---

The author:

Arno Fischbacher is a business voice coach and rhetoric expert, speaker and author. He prepares executives and employees of the top companies in Germany and Austria for negotiations, presentations and media appearances. Fischbacher is the author of several books, past president of the German Speakers Association (GSA) Austria, chairman of the European Network of Voice Experts, stimme.at.

If you would like to learn more about specific training opportunities with Arno Fischbacher, make an appointment here free information talk.

---