The dangers of monologuing in customer conversations
We have probably all experienced this before. You talk to a potential customer and realize that they are interested in what you have to say. So you keep talking... and further... and on. Before you know it, 20 minutes have passed and your customer is nowhere to be found. Why did this happen? Because you didn't recognize the danger of monologues in customer conversations.
When you monologize, you basically become a one-person show. Even if your enthusiasm is appreciated at first, it quickly becomes clear that your counterpart is nothing more than a spectator in your own imagination. This not only ruins the conversation, but also leaves a bad taste in the mouth of the other person. After all, who wants to have the feeling that you are talking to him instead of talking to him?
Dear reader, hand on heart:
How large is the share of conversations between customers in your conversations?
Experiencing your enthusiasm is wonderful. It shows your commitment and is an expression of your attachment to your offer. Enthusiasm is nice, but it becomes dangerous for your effect and your result when it blinds you to the needs of your interlocutors. When you talk and talk – and your counterpart gets far too little opportunity to communicate.
This happened to one of my coaching clients recently. "The first question from the presenter in the podcast interview triggered me so much that I talked for the first twenty minutes at a time. I had no control over my voice and completely lost myself in my world. In the end, I packed far too many details into it and hardly let the host have his say." He asked me: "How can I better structure myself in such situations and control the use of my voice?"
Therefore, in this episode of the "Voice works!" podcasts about the dreaded phenomenon of "speech pressure", and about three ways to pleasant voice Have better conversations:
How to make sure in good time that you text your conversation partners
The next time you find yourself in a customer conversation, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Do you do most of the conversation? If so, it's time to restrain yourself and give your counterpart space to talk. This not only makes the conversation more pleasant for both parties, but also gives you valuable insights into the thoughts and feelings of your counterpart.
All too often, we're so engrossed in our own sales pitch that we forget to listen to what the other person is saying (or not saying). If you let your counterpart have their say, you can pick up verbal and non-verbal cues that can help you close the deal.
My practical tip:
- Pay attention to your body language: Your body can provide you with valuable signals if you lose touch with the person you are talking to when you speak.
- Is your upper body tense and bent forward? Collect yourself briefly by straightening up and feeling the ground under your feet. You will notice how your tension and your breath now release. Now you have created the overview and regained your self-leadership.
What makes listening so important
Listening is an important skill in all areas of life, but it's especially important in conversations. When you're talking to someone, you should focus on them, not on yourself. This means that you should give them the opportunity to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Only then can you truly understand him or her and build a deeper connection with him or her.
In addition, listening shows that you value the opinion of your counterpart. It shows that you're interested in hearing what the other person has to say. And when people feel valued, they're more likely to trust and respect you. And finally, you can also gather information by listening. The more you know about someone, the better positioned you are to help him or her or sell something.
My practical tip:
- Please let us hear that you are listening attentively. Your sympathetic "Mmhm!" sounds in the relaxed inherent tone of your voice, this pleasantly growling tone and establishes a strong emotional relationship.
- Avoid thinking about your next argument while listening. Your impersonal "mmhm!" betrays you. It leaves its own tone, sounds much higher and immediately disturbs the previously created agreement.
Why you should prepare smart questions
The most important tactic is to consciously give your counterpart the opportunity to speak by asking questions. Not only does this help keep the conversation balanced, but it also shows that you're interested in hearing what they're saying. Finally, pay attention to the general flow of the conversation. If you're talking most of the time, it's time to take a step back and let your counterpart have their say.
My practical tip:
- Questions that are asked too suddenly often lead to irritated looks and thus prevent spontaneous and open answers. I therefore advise you to pick up the interlocutors in their world before the question. You can do this by referring to what you have just heard.
- Instead of "Where do you see the cause of the delay?", refer to the last point of the conversation in advance: "Speaking of your difficulties with the supplier – where do you see the biggest cause of the delay?"
Why the customer's answer is often the reason for your next monologue
If you observe a conversation from the outside, you will notice a constant change in conversation. He who asks, leads, they say. And that's right, every question triggers a clearly noticeable pressure to answer ("speaking pressure") in your conversation partner. However, if the answer is given, the tide turns. The ball goes back to you as the questioner.
Therefore, pay special attention to this moment. Because it now triggers pressure to speak in you. How often do I hear the beginning of a new monologue about product details, benefits, etc.
My practical tip:
- After the answer of your conversation partner, play the ball back again and get a second, deeper answer to the question asked earlier.
- The prerequisite for this is that you have really listened. Nod up a few words you've heard: "mmhm ... that it was simply not possible to get information? Mmmhm!?"
- With this, you have once again very subtly taken the lead and receive new, valuable information.
Result:
The next time you join a conversation, pay attention to the warning signs that show you that you are monologues. And if you catch yourself talking too much, take a step back and let your conversation partners have their say.
Make sure that it becomes a real dialogue. Otherwise, you run the risk of appearing arrogant and self-centered – two traits that scare off any potential customer.
And please make the effort to really listen to your conversation partner. It will make a huge difference in the quality of your relationships. And who knows? Maybe you'll learn something new this way?
In short, if you're aware of the dangers of monologuing and take proactive steps to avoid them, you're sure to become more productive and successful Have conversations .
Have fun and success!
Arno Fischbacher
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The author:
Arno Fischbacher is a business voice coach and rhetoric expert, speaker and author. He prepares executives and employees of the top companies in Germany and Austria for negotiations, presentations and media appearances. Fischbacher is the author of several books, past president of the German Speakers Association (GSA) Austria, chairman of the European Network of Voice Experts, stimme.at.
If you would like to learn more about specific training opportunities with Arno Fischbacher, make an appointment here free information talk.
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